“Tokyo Gore Police” – Chris Luedtke

Nothing sates this gorehound’s appetite like a good bloodbath. Let entrails spill and walls be spray-painted red, and the smiles bleed out soon after. Tokyo Gore Police will please those with a taste for the red stuff, though despite its bloodlust, it still leaves much to be desires. Once Tokyo Gore Police tears its very heart out for our viewing please, some will wonder if it was ever beating to begin with.

In the midst of heated police protests, Ruka (Eihi Shiina) witnessed her own father’s assassination. Since then, the times have changed, and after being adopted by Tokyo’s police chief (Yukihide Benny), Ruka chooses to fight for the authorities and avenge her father’s death. With the new threat of humanoid mutations known as “engineers,” Ruka undergoes special training to uphold the law against these monster. But the question remains as to where they come from, not to mention whether or not they can be brought down once and for all.

It’s fair to say that Tokyo Gore Police probably sheds more blood than Dead Alive, an idea staggering to anyone who’s had the pleasure of viewing that masterpiece. Tokyo Gore Police knows its audience and takes every opportune moment to go for the jugular (which is pretty much all the damn time). From the introductory exploding head to the final sword swipe, this film begs to be hailed as a new gore god. Flesh splits, limbs become geysers of blood — if any of this is up your alley, then that’s more than enough reason to give it a rent.

But the biggest problem I have with Tokyo Gore Police is the pacing. Much of the movie feels like hitting potholes in a car, with sudden jolts bumping us into scenes we couldn’t care less about. Some characters appear to be playing significant parts, only to be killed five minutes later. This happened with two persons in particular, both of whom felt like they were really going somewhere. I shrugged my shoulders when one disappeared, while the other took a little longer to go away. One wonders why they even got camera time in the first place.

The story itself is a real mess. Not only are entire characters unimportant, the leads often end up chasing down random plot detours. One takes a cop to an S&M club and seems to exist only to gross us out rather than reveal much about the enemy. As the story dragged me forth, I cared less about the outcome and more about seeing the credits. You can tell that gross-outs and various mutilations were director Yoshihiro Nishimura’s top priorities.

Tokyo Gore Police exists to inflict as much damage on the human body as possible, which isn’t always a bad thing, granted there’s a bit more substance at work. Be warned, dear readers, for this is among the goriest films ever made — not to mention the most bland, as well.

Rating: ★★☆☆

-Chris Luedtke

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